365 Days


365 days. I see now that there is nothing magical about a year. Maybe there was just a little hope that after a year the pain of Linda’s leaving was be greatly reduced. But alas, it’s just a number. After all, we were together for roughly 17,000 days! Sure time has gone on and life with it. I probably don’t think of her every waking moment, just most. God has been doing an amazing work in my heart over this year. First, I can’t believe how fast this year has passed. How can time stand still and yet continue to move so quickly? I’ve grown less selfish about having Linda here with me and more happy for her. After all, when we gave our lives to Christ in 1977 our greatest desire was to someday be completely immersed in His presence. Now she is there and I await my day. God’s mercy covers me like a huge blanket. I am grateful for the promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ.

Having said all that I miss her dearly. It’s been a year since I’ve felt her skin, stroked her hair, and kissed her lips. It’s been a year since we’ve just sat on the couch sharing life and talking about what God is doing in our lives. It’s been a year since we shared our excitement over what the Lord is doing at New Hope, our church. It’s been a year since we jumped in the car and took off for one of our day trips or overnighters to Lake Tahoe or the bay area. It’s been a year since we went out for dinner and experienced a great burger together or our favorite pizza from BJ’s Restaurant, or that amazing burrito from Garibaldi’s. It’s been a year since we’ve dreamed together about our children and grand children. She loved them so much. Even praying daily during her illness for Ivan James’ arrival that sadly she missed.

I do believe God has more things for me to do as I follow Jesus. Some have said “great” things. I don’t know just how great those things could be because together we already did so many wonderful things. When I look back and see the lives touched through our ministry to the U.K. I am humbled and amazed. But I do trust that His way is perfect and good. My way is always filled with uncertainty. So, I’ll continue to pursue another year. A year loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength according to the scriptures. Who knows, maybe in another year I’ll see things even more clearly. I do know that for the rest of my days here I will love and miss her in a painful way. But my family, church family, and friends will stand with me and give me great comfort. And he alone will be my healer.

Proverbs 3:4-6  So you will find favor and good repute In the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight

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