Am I going crazy?

I guess if you were to follow me around for the day, or perhaps get some kind of a glimpse into my brain, you might think so. You see, I spend a lot of my alone time talking to Linda. While I’m driving, or just sitting here in my living room. I talk to her when I go to bed every night. I tell her just how much I love her and miss her. I tell her how much is wish she was here with me.  I don’t know what she hears, or if she even hears me. We like to think we know, but I also know that there is a lot of hypothetical stuff out there about those who have left this world and what they know or don’t know, or experience. But with all that aside, I still talk to her. But she never talks back or answers my questions. I only have what she said before she left. “You’ll be okay” was her  usual response to my despair of losing her. I guess I will be okay. In fact, I know I will. I talk to her while I’m shopping at Walmart for toothpaste. When I see the deodorant that she would buy. Or the Slim Fast Low Carb drink that we would always hope was in stock. I drive by Union Bank and remember going through the drive through and hear her telling my the deposit amount to punch in on the keyboard. I ask her “do we need to pull in”? No reply so I drive on by. After all,  I talked with her for forty seven years! Come on, that’s a long time! And now, she’s silent. It’s a one sided conversation. It feels weird. It is weird. I’d give anything to sit on the couch and converse again with her. Or have her in the car next to me to do our weekly shopping at Trader Joe’s.  But that’s not going to happen. So, follow me around if you wish. Think me crazy if you must. But I’ll keep on talking to the love of my life. Am I going crazy? I don’t think so.  2 Timothy 1:7 says “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” I will continue to trust in God’s faithfulness. He is my hope. Oh, and I talk to God all the time too.  Love ya babe.

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